What Remains - Carole Radziwill

"What Remains is a vivid and haunting memoir about a girl from a working-class town who becomes an award-winning television producer and marries a prince, Anthony Radziwill. Carole grew up in a small suburb with a large, eccentric cast of characters. At nineteen, she struck out for New York City to find a different life. Her career at ABC News took her around the globe. Her marriage led her into the old world of European nobility and the newer world of American aristocracy.

What Remains begins will loss and returns to loss. A small plane plunges into the ocean, carrying John F. Kennedy Jr., Anthony's cousin, and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, Carole's closest friend. Three weeks later, Anthony dies of cancer. With unflinching honesty and a journalist's keen eye, Carole Radziwill explores the enduring ties of family, the complexities of marriage, the importance of friendship and the challenges of self-invention. Beautifully written, What Remains "gets the essence of what matters," wrote Oprah Winfrey. "Friendship, compassion, destiny."

It is exactly what Oprah said: beautifully written. I love reading books like this where the writing flows and I'm hooked from the start. This is such a heartbreaking story that I find it awkward to admit that I loved the book. I laughed out loud, and I cried, two actions that show just how emotional this book was.

I love Carole's childhood with her family, all a bit "out there", and then her flee to NYC to make a life for herself. I was enthralled by her work with ABC News, and reading her story was like an inside peak at a news dynasty. Awesome!

It was also an amazing look into the Kennedy family, certainly the most known family in America, and one of my personal fascinations. I loved the story of John and Carolyn's secret wedding off the coast of Georgia. It sounded beautiful and low-key. Carole and her husband's friendships with John and Carolyn, of course were more than that as they were family, but were just easy. Even Carole said that. The four of them just fit together. Probably because you look for something normal to latch onto when you marry into a family who is constantly followed by paparazzi.

The cancer part of the story (and it's a big part) was certainly the most heartbreaking, as it was essentially a slow death for Anthony. Never one to seek attention, he fought the disease in private for most of its course. Carole became a self-proclamed expert on the topic of his cancer; she researched and researched and asked all kinds of questions. How incredible that Carole and Anthony found out about the cancer shortly into their relationship, and they were able to get 5 years out of it.

Carole faced a horrible reality the night that John and Carolyn died in the plane crash. The 4 of them had made plans to see each other the following night, spend some time together while they wait for Anthony's death. In three weeks, she lost her best friend and Anthony's cousin, and then her husband. Where does one turn following such tragedy?

I admire Carole's strength. And based on her acknowledgements at the end of the book, she had plenty of people to turn to and with whom to stay while she wrote the memoir.

I highly recommend this book. But you have been warned: it will make you cry.

Sunday Salon - 8/2/09

Sunday Salon - August 2, 2009

I can't believe it's August 2nd already! Where has 2009 gone? Anyway, happy Sunday fellow Saloners. I'm using this post to wrap up July, so let's go!

I started July in Key Largo, my favorite place to relax. I brought along 2 books, and only read one, mostly because our days were packed with boating and water sports and eating. You know, things you should be doing in the Keys. I chose a horrible book, The Ruins by Scott Smith. Some of you who have read it may completely disagree with me, but hey, that's what readers do right? I am finding that the more I read "bestsellers" and in general, books that tons of other people tend to love, I loathe. Such is the case with this book. (You can read my full review here.) Make sure you tell me what you loved/hated about the book!

Next up I read House Rules by Rachel Sontag, an amazing memoir. I am always interested in reading about how other people grew up, and this book was certainly interesting. I felt so bad for Rachel's childhood and the (lack of a) relationship with her parents. Her father was verbally abusive, and time and time again her mother "tried" to leave but to no avail. Rachel eventually made it away from home, where she thrived. A great, quick read for those who love memoirs.

My most recent read was True Colors by Kristin Hannah. This was borrowed from a friend, and I had wanted to read it, but was a bit disappointed by this book as well. I haven't reviewed this yet, so look for it later this week.

A couple nights ago I started Live First, Work Second by Rebecca Ryan, a speaker and consultant who I met last year at a Young Professionals Summit. She's completed some great research and has so much insight into the minds of my generation. I will be attending my second YP summit this September, and I really look foward to hearing her speak again.

Hope July gave you some great reading. We are over halfway through 2009. Wow. I'm off to the beach, have a great day!

House Rules - Rachel Sontag

This is the incredible story of a very resilient girl, Rachel Sontag, and her family. Her father is an overbearing, over protective, abusive jerk, her mother is brainwashed into her dad's ways (does/says whatever he tells her to), and Rachel's little sister is the forgotten one. Yet Rachel struggles to reach her dad, to make him feel proud of her, to love her, as she grows up.

Rachel struggles with her father and their relationship, as she constantly seeks his approval, tries to reach him and understand him, and tries to make him feel proud of her. She searches for the good in him, strives to be the parts of him she loves, and still, she baits him when he's getting angry. Her defense mechanism was to be sarcastic (which I can totally relate to) or to concentrate on tuning him out. She even got involved in acting and theatre as a child so she could literally escape her life.

As she enters high school, things have never been so bad with her father. He tapes her phone calls, makes her have almost nightly talks about how she does absolutely everthing wrong, makes her write page after page of belittling words about herself, as he dictates them. When she realized her father - a doctor - was medicating their mom to the point where she would physically attack Rachel, she realized it was time to get out of there. DCF entered the picture, and for awhile, Rachel lived in a teen shelter for girls.

As Rachel's mom went in and out of (forced) drug use, she threatened to divorce their father multiple times but never went through with it. It was then Rachel stopped trusting her mother as well.

Rachel and her family are still estranged - her father cut her off when she took a trip to visit friends over a holiday break (crazy, right?) - but Rachel and her sister are still trying to work through their past.

It was a heartbreaking story - there were so many times when I could've thrown the book clear across the room, I was that disgusted with her dad - but I was constantly routing for her and couldn't wait to see how she ended the book. I don't even know her and I'm proud of what she's accomplished. Proud that she has stayed true to herself despite all the setbacks in her life. Despite her family. Proud also that she's still reaching out, still trying to repair what's been broken.

Highly recommended.

Rattled! - Christine Coppa

I devoured this book in 2 days; I started in on my 4.5 hour flight to Las Vegas and finished it poolside the next day.

(image from Barnes & Noble)

I loved this memoir. I have been reading Chrissy's blog ... since she started it while pregnant with her now-fifteen-month-old son, Jack Domenic. She has always been the epitome of a warrior single-mom, in my eyes at least, and I can't imagine doing what she did. As said on the cover, "Christine Coppa was 26 and living the life of a typical upstart urbanite - a great job at a women's magazine; a cramped apartment with two Craigslist roommates; sushi nights with the girls, must-have handbags and overpriced cocktails; $271 in the bank - and then her life was Rattled!"

Chrissy's life was literally uprooted and her surprise pregnancy brought a range of emotions to her, all of which come to play throughout her pregnancy and then her son's birth. After she overcame the shock and the unfortunate exit of her son's "father," she went into extreme mature mode. I was in complete awe of how quickly she got everything together - extra freelance gigs, new job, health insurance, cribs, a major (and to her, devastating) move from NYC to New Jersey and a new apartment for her and her baby. She also took a "babymoon" to Palm Springs - a completely solo trip! I was in shock as I read about her flying across the country and staying in a resort, dipping her toes in the pool and ordering room service ALL.BY.HERSELF. This woman is amazing!

Chrissy writes very well, including all the emotions she was feeling, and how she looked forward to her new life with her newborn. It was like she made the decision to go forward as a single parent and never looked back. I really applaud her decision, and I highly recommend this book for everyone, especially single mothers.

My Horizontal Life - Chelsea Handler

From the bestselling author of "Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea," comes a memoir about one-night stands. I know, I know, not the best of topics, but it's hilarious I promise!

Chelsea Handler is a stand-up comedian, and that much is obvious from page one. She has no reservations about her sexual habits, and doesn't really seem to regret the events of her life either. But really, why should you? It got you where you are, so why dwell, right?

This book begins with Chelsea, at age 7, walking in on her parents and taking a picture. It started off as a dare from her older sister, and it's obvious from the get-go that Chelsea does not back down from a challenge. We see her through her first experience to a midget, to guys of another race, and finally, to the last unfulfilling one-night stand which leads her to the conclusion that she's done with sex. Until she meets someone really special.

While it does deal with sex, it's not nearly as raunchy as Diablo Cody's memoir, Candy Girl, which was entirely too explicit for me to even review.

Mistaken Identity - Don & Susie Van Ryn and Newell, Colleen & Whitney Cerak with Mark Tabb

From the back:

A grief reversed. A hope deferred. The stunning true story of two families trading places from graveside to bedside.

Five lives were lost in a tragic accident involving a Taylor University van, and one young woman, severely injured and comatose, was rushed to the hospital.

Five funerals were held. Families, faculty, students and communities grieved their losses and joined in prayer and hope as the one young woman, Laura Van Ryn, fought for her life in a hospital bed. The national news spread the story, and people everywhere shared the grief and the hope.

Five weeks passed for the Cerak family. Believing they had buried their
daughter, the Ceraks clung to their faith and worshipped Gof through their tears, learning to look forward with hope to an eternal reunion with their lovely daughter Whitney. They spent weeks of mourning and grief surrounded by loved ones, slowly moving toward healing.

Five weeks passed for the Van Ryns. Keeping a constant bedside vigil over their precious daughter Laura, they sat and prayed and hoped. Confronted with tubes and surgeries, vital signs and healing signs, they rejoiced at each tiny advance toward recovery. Their friends and church and family members, along with a steady stream of students, celebrated with them each sign of Laura's healing.

And then the shock!

"Okay, Laura, I would like you to write your name for me," the occupational therapist said.

W-H-I-T-N-E-Y

An event that could be seen as pure tragedy becomes a celebration of life's unfathomable gifts and mysteries.

Amazing and heartbreaking story. I don't really have the words to express my feelings about this book. I am not a religious person, but both of the families affected by this tragedy really relied on their faith to pull them through these horrific events.

It was eerily odd to read about Taylor University and the towns of Caledonia and Grand Rapids, Michigan. Grand Rapids is about an hour north of my hometown, and I am familiar with the hospital and rehabilitation center where Whitney recovered.

My heart goes out to these families. It's really incredible the bond they forged and that they were able to adopt a positive attitude through their tragedy.

Three Little Words - Ashley Rhodes-Courter

This is Ashley Rhodes-Courter's memoir; the way she pieced together her childhood as she bounced around 14 different foster care homes in 9 years. Her mother was a teenager when she gave birth to Ashley, and always promised to come get her "soon."

This was a heartbreaking but very enlightening tale of foster care, the abuse that happens more often than we thought, and the case workers who fight vigorously for innocent children. Ashley was smart and had a way of putting aside the horror of life to excel in school. One of the homes in which she stayed for eight months was especially appalling, and Ashley and the other foster children (at times more than 10 lived there) were abused and seriously mistreated. Fearing she might endure more torture, Ashley stayed silent for years but eventually lead a fight and several lawsuits against those foster parents.

Ashley eventually was matched with an adoptive family, with whom she now gets along fabulously. It was hard in the beginning to adjust as she constantly thought her behavior would warrant her return to foster care. Ashley continued to excel in school and advocate for better foster care in the state of Florida (ironically, the state in which I now reside) and eventually earned an invitation to the White House for a reception; she was personally invited by Hillary Clinton! She had been recognized for an essay she wrote in USA Today about J.K. Rowling and how the Harry Potter series changed her life (she also met Rowling, obviously). She also won an essay contest hosted by the New York Times Magazine for the essay about her adoption day, titled "Three Little Words," which she eventually turned into this memoir.

This was a fascinating look into foster care, although I was raging when reading the abusive parts. I am really appalled that the state of Florida's foster care system was so lacking for many years - Ashley was technically considered missing for 9 months because the paperwork showed inconsistencies! I cannot imagine having lived through this nightmare, but Ashley is still thriving. She won several other prestigious awards, including a college scholarship, and a quick visit to her website shows that she is still engaging in speaking opportunities around the country, advocating on behalf of America's foster care children.

Hannah's Gift: Lessons from a Life Fully Lived - Maria Housden

WARNING: this one is quite the tear-jerker!!

Three-year-old Hannah has a rare cancerous tumor that even after 2 surgeries just will not leave her alone. This is her mother's story of first battling that tumor, then living with the fact that it will kill Hannah. This story is so beautifully told; Maria was really, truly present with Hannah (and the rest of the family) throughout the cancer battle. And Hannah! What a true doll. So adorable.

Hannah and her brother Will, who is five at the time, make the most of the rest of her life, including asking many questions about death and what happens after death. Hannah was rarely afraid of dying, she was just very curious. Maria and her husband, Claude, made it a point to always be honest with the children, even if they thought it would crush them. Maria told the story of Hannah's last birthday, last holidays, a trip to Walt Disney World (thanks to the Make-A-Wish Foundation) and many other "lasts."

I don't even have kids and I cried like a baby. Maria tells the story so clearly I had a vivid picture in my head and I couldn't handle it when Hannah actually died in her mother's arms. It was too much for me. How can you outlive your child? It just hurt reading it, I can't imagine living it. Kudos to Maria and her family for truly living, and truly telling, the story of Hannah's life.

The Mistress's Daughter - A.M. Homes

Author A.M. Homes was born to a 22-year-old woman blinded in love by her "boyfriend," who happened to be an older, much married man with a family of his own, and was adopted shortly after birth into a nice family, where she grew up with an older brother.

Homes learned of this adoption at the age of 31. Once her parents dropped the bomb, Homes eventually got in contact with her mother, Ellen, then her father. Her mother turned out to have never lived her life at all - never married, never had more children, really never stopped loving Homes's father, Norman. He, as it turned out, continually lied to Ellen when she was pregnant, telling her he was leaving his wife and family to start fresh with her and their baby, and even moved a pregnant Ellen to Florida with a message that he would soon follow. He never did.

Homes does not feel a connection to her birth mother, and eventually we see why - Ellen is very clingy. When A.M. does not return calls, or refuses to see her, Ellen continuously calls wondering why and when they can meet. Norman, however, makes A.M. submit to a DNA test before he will have anything to do with her. She and her father do meet a couple of times, but eventually he wants nothing to do with her.

Homes becomes obsessed with her birth parents' family history, and pays several hundred dollars and many years obtaining genealogy details. Her constant quest for information consumed a large portion of the book, but it was rather interesting the history she was able to piece together, through data, through joining websites, to researching in libraries, to exchanging emails with distance relatives. She finally hit a roadblock when her father refused to produce a copy of the DNA test she submitted to, a document which she needs to provide to become a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution. She speaks to several lawyers, even considers suing her father to prove that he's her father, but decides to let it go.

And we leave her with the knowledge of her own little girl, Juliet. I do recommend this book; it's short and quick and really well written. Very interesting, considering all the details she obtains about her lineage. And sometimes witty. I just love memoirs.

Night - Elie Wiesel

As I mentioned before, I think I am probably in the minority of those students who didn't have to read this book for school curriculm. It is Wiesel's true account of shuffling through concentration camps in Nazi Germany, surrounded by thousands of marching men and constantly trying to avoid being sent to the creamatories.

These are some passages I bookmarked while reading:

All I could hear was the violin, and it was as if Juliek's soul had become his bow. He was playing his life. His whole being was gliding over the strings. His unfulfilled hopes. His charred past, his extinguishing future. He played that which he would never play again.

Listen to me, kid. Don't forget that you are in a concentration camp. In this place, it is every man for himself, and you cannot think of others. Not even your father. In this place, there is no such thing as father, brother, friend. Each of us lives and dies alone.

This book was easy to read, hard to understand. It's amazing that this kind of hate really existed.

Sister Salty, Sister Sweet - Shannon Kring Biro & Natalie Kring

This is a funny memoir about two sisters very opposite in demeanor, personality and even looks. I honestly felt like some chapters could have been written by me, and some chapters could have been written by my own sister, who is 3 years younger.

Shannon, who is 4 years older, was completely content being an only child and was rather disturbed when sister Natalie was born. Sounds just like me - I believe I actually told my mom to "put my sister back" when she was born. Shannon gets much attention throughout their lives, and while we the readers see why - a sexual assault, an eating disorder, and just general knowledge of a dysfunctional family - Natalie doesn't understand this until she's much older. Told in alternating views, we see the happenings of each Kring girl as they grow. According to the back of the book, Shannon is a successful entrepreneur in the restaurant industry with her husband, chef Marcel Biro. Natalie is a published poet and former book store manager.

I really love memoirs, mostly because I'm so interested in how others were raised. I think this is the most relatable memoir I've ever read.

Juno

This movie has been hyped up lately and I saw some of the female stars on Oprah the other day, and I just had to see it. It's even generating Oscar buzz! It was a great movie, very sarcastic and hilarious - my type of movie! The screenplay was written by Diablo Cody, who announced on Oprah that it only took her "about two months" to write it. She was formerly a stripper in Minnesota, which she penned a memoir about, titled Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper. Coincidentally, my friend who accompanied me to the movie last night loaned me the book.

I'm currently reading Barack Obama's The Audacity of Hope, but guess what I'll be reading next? :) Go see Juno!

Favorite Reads

I'm currently reading Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin, and I will probably finish it in the next couple of days. Until then, I wanted to share some of my favorite books from the past.

Jodi Picoult - She is by far my favorite author, and my all-time fave of hers is My Sister's Keeper, followed closely by Harvesting the Heart, Nineteen Minutes, Salem Falls, Plain Truth, Perfect Match and Mercy. Vanishing Acts, The Pact, and Change of Heart (to be released early March 2008) are all on my TBR pile.

Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird is one of my all-time favorites as well. While I loved this book when we were forced to read it in high school, it took a few years for me to really appreciate Lee's work.

I loved Cammie MacGovern's Eye Contact. It was a quick read, a book I surprisingly couldn't put down. I can't even say what exactly hooked me right off the bat, but it's truly a worthy read.

Anna Quindlen's One True Thing - by far one of the best books I've ever read. It's probably not a book I would have picked out to read, but a friend loaned it to me and I loved it. I recently gave a copy to my best friend back home in Michigan, and I'm dying to hear what she has to say about it.

I also love memoirs - some of the favorites that stick out in my mind are Mary Karr's The Liars Club, Jeanette Walls' The Glass Castle and Michael J. Fox's Lucky Man. Another one that I loved was Stephanie Klein's Straight Up and Dirty...and while I really recommend this book, I must warn you it is NOT a clean read. But that's partly what makes it so good!

I'm getting back to my book now...happy reading to all!

1 down, 100 books to go!

I just finished Michael J. Fox's memoir, Lucky Man. I highly recommend this to anyone and everyone; whether or not you've been affected by Parkinson's Disease or any other neurological disorder, it's an intriguing read.

The book moves rather slowly at first, but it does so to show Fox's humble upbringing and for him to reflect back on the choices he made throughout his life. (Did you know he dropped out of high school to pursue acting in Los Angeles?)

Fox was around 30 when he was diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson's, being among the rare who are hit with symptoms which usually take affect between the ages of 50 and 60. Fox chose to hide his P.D. from the public for 7 years before revealing his diagnosis while still working on Spin City. He then became an advocate for the disease and even spoke to politicians to raise awareness and fight for money for research, including embryonic stem cell research.

I have cared for a child with a neurological disorder, and it's affects are crippling. This is why it was a very personal read to me, and it affected me more than it may affect others who read this memoir.

I'll leave you with a quote that I really enjoyed: "It seems to me that the quality of a moment in time is not always a reflection of the moment in and of itself - what happens before and what happens after are often what give it its savor."

In Their Shoes Challenge

So inside of my big challenge - 101 books in 1001 days - I decided to first strive for a mini goal: reading more memoirs/autobiography/biography, and so I joined the In Their Shoes Challenge.

The rules are that I get to pick how many books I want to complete and I must complete them between January 1 and December 31, 2008. Not too hard, right, and I am only chosing 10 books:

Lucky Man: A Memoir - Michael J. Fox
Love Always, Petra - Petra Nemcova
Bitter is the New Black - Jen Lancaster
Sister Salty, Sister Sweet: A Memoir of Sibling Rivalry - Shannon Kring Biro & Natalie Kring
Lessons in Becoming Myself - Ellen Burstyn
Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
Saving Graces - Elizabeth Edwards
What Remains - Carole Radziwill
Maiden Voyage - Tania Aebi
The Audacity of Hope - Barack Obama


I already have 9 of these, and one is my boyfriend's, so I don't even have to purchase any new books to read! I'm starting Lucky Man this weekend.